I'm on vacation this week. This is spectacular. I get to sit on my ass, and get paid for it. I've been with the company for 4 years. It's crazy to think about how fast life is going by. It feels like I'm flying forward.
And sometimes I think about things that I've missed. Friendships I've let slide. People I used to spend weeks with, but now haven't talked to in a few months.
Family members that I hear about, but probably will never see again.
Things I'd like to do, would have liked to have done by now.
I wonder if I've traded having a life, for keeping my job.

I'm a Supervisor now. It's a small victory. Some of my Crew (and I capitalize that word for a reason) are young kids, some not even out of High School. I see such potential inside them. I don't tell them, though. I remember hating that speech. But I do tell them one thing:
Don't let this job eat at you. Don't let it consume you.
I make it known amoungst them all that I am here only to pay my bills. I do not like my job, but it takes care of my debts.
I want them to see that that this is sometimes where you begin, but never plan on making it where you end up.
I've gone out with some of the older girls that work under me. They laugh at the difference between my work personality, and my normal one.
I think with I've made my point.

But I have time. Time to renew old friendships. But I need to decide If I want to. That issue is enough for my next journal, so I'll file that away.

And family is family. There is love, of course. Then there is the understanding that I am here, you are there, and that is fine. Maybe we will talk. But they know I love them, and that is enough.

And, I will try to do everything that I've set out to.
But if I'm 80, and still haven't seen Italy, that's okay.

I will regret nothing, I've decided. I'll move on, change, accept. But never regret.

I am content.